global village, village virtues

When does self-promotion turn into self-indulgence?

Keith Wong

A YEAR ago, I took a community service trip with some students to teach English to teenagers at a small village school in southern China. One assumes that such trips are a form of "charity". As it turned out, we learnt more from the students than they did from us.

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Although we arrived in June, it was atypically cold, rainy and misty for a few days, and the intermittent showers meant that getting caught in the rain was a common occurrence.

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One day, I was making my way to the hostel from school, without an umbrella. As luck would have it, it began to rain. I quickened my pace. Then a waif-like figure seemingly materialised from the rain and mist.

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A young girl with an umbrella came towards me in the opposite direction, making her way to school.

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Holding out her umbrella, she asked if I needed it. Her expression was not grandiose or playful, but matter-of-fact. I stopped, shocked.

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My urban sensibility had registered something extraordinary. There was a warmth and richness about the experience. I did not accept her offer, but the rain did not bother me anymore.

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This was probably a common act of kindness on her part.

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Indeed, there was a culture of openness and generosity among the students in the school. Students often offered us snacks bought with their own money.

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They were also generous in non-material terms, offering hugs and compliments readily to all. Many walked arm-in-arm around the school in displays of platonic friendship.

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The lady who owned the hostel where we stayed possibly undercharged us for the 10 days we were there.

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All this came as a culture shock to the Singaporean students, who were deeply touched by their Chinese counterparts. They reciprocated by working even harder to teach them well.

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There were more than a few tearful goodbyes when the time came to part. One question many of the students in my group had in mind: Why can't school be like that in Singapore?

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The ability to engage in acts of generosity and kindness seems independent of social and financial circumstances.

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These Chinese children were from the countryside, and some did not even have shoes to wear.

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Yet, their austere conditions, away from state-of-the-art IT equipment, PSPs and other acronyms of privilege, necessitated a close-knit community and a selfless concern for others — deep feelings of altruism.

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Lest this seems rose-tinted, I hasten to add that not all the students or villagers possessed the same measure of open-heartedness, especially when faced with adult "realities".

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I wonder if, in urban Singapore, a similar kindness would have been proffered. One remembers that incident three years ago when an injured man lay alone on the ground at a prestigious golf course for 20 minutes before help came.

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Vandalism of public property in schools and on buses is ubiquitous and yet difficult to regulate.

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Generating a concern for others is the only workable solution here.

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But there have also been examples of great kindness. There has been a swift response from community organisations and people desiring to help those affected by the recent Bukit Merah blast.

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Mr Chan Fook Seng, who passed away in the blast, was himself an active volunteer at the Sarah Senior Citizens Activity Centre.

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His efforts were reported only after his death, yet this lack of publicity did not deter him from going out of his way to give.

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There are many such unsung heroes, such angels in our midst, and one wonders where such altruism originates from. It certainly expands the spirit to ponder on this.

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Singaporean students and working adults spend a good deal of their lives building their portfolios. These days, image is everything.

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In schools, students are encouraged to discover their assets and market them, chalking up awards and qualifications.

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All this is good and necessary in the wealthy, globalised world. We are no strangers to self-promotion. But when do we cross the line into self-indulgence? Do we recognise our strengths and use them for the benefit of others? Or are accolades all that we are looking for?

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Perhaps, every work review or academic profile should include a component stating how each individual has been of service to the "whole", rather than dwelling on achievement.

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The selflessness of altruism should not be confused with self-sacrificial or subservient behaviour. Rather, it is a feeling of losing oneself in an act of virtue.

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The Chinese students were by and large, a happy lot. According to the Buddhist teacher, Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, the sage Shantideva said: "All the happiness in the world arises from wishing others to be happy."

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As a small fishing village more than 200 years ago, Singapore had its advantages. Now as we partake of the proverbial "global village", perhaps "village virtues" would be well remembered.

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The writer was an educator for three and a half years. He is now between jobs.

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This article writes about the importance of village virtues in a global village like Singapore. The author gives an example of selfless altruism in a place like China, where they make up for their lack in material wealth in simple kindnesses, like offering an umbrella to a stranger whenever he needed it—personally experienced by the author. This shows “that the ability to engage in acts of generosity and kindness seems independent of social and financial circumstances”. This is especially true for rural people who are mostly poor both in status and monetarily; kindness begotten from them is from the heart, unlike in some societies. These people in China show kindness without a hint of a motive in doing a good deed. In Singapore, everything is material—including the kindness we receive from people. Away from modern society and technological advances, and living in a close-knit community has fostered a selfless concern for others.

I feel that as part of a world that is progressing at a lightning pace, we should emulate the southern China community as depicted by the author. In showing concern for others, we are building our moral character, which is extremely important in present contexts. The fast-paced world has forced us all to be objective and focused on the task at hand; to do things that benefit us most and discard any that does not. Moral character is important in such a world, where Victorian values are being distorted everyday; bullying is normal and trendy, and people who ask for change after giving to charity are common. If we forget these values, what will happen to the world?

In showing care and concern, we should always be selfless, and not have any hidden motive behind doing it. If we are just fulfilling a hidden agenda, deep down we will not feel any warmth or sense of fulfillment after helping someone. Students in Singapore help old folks simply because of their requirement to complete CIP hours. Nowadays, instead of attempting to help others, children nag and beg their parents to get them the latest devices for entertainment like the iPhone and PSPs etc. Parents should show an example for their children, and this is where the change should begin. How much will children learn, from parents who are ‘kiasu’ and selfish?

In Singapore, everything is done for oneself. People are afraid of caring too much lest they get implicated and blamed, or that they will disrupt their schedule by the amount of time it takes to help a person. However, there are some among us who do good deeds without need for recognition. They help without need of return, and instead, instill a sense of kindness begetting kindness that the people they help will reciprocate towards other people. As long as one of us is willing to go all the way, there will be an exponential growth in people doing good deeds, and thus helping Singapore to grow in moral character as well to become truly an all-rounded global village.

(503 Words)

Refining Muslim laws should not stop at organ transplant but include women's roles in family

Nazry Bahrawi
nazry@mediacorp.com.sg

IN more ways than one, Muslim Singaporeans have a reputation of being in tune with the times.

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They were the first to introduce the concept of asset migration in 2001 when the Islamic Religious Council of Singapore (Muis) used proceeds from the sale of smaller Muslim properties placed under its trust to buy a building in Beach Road.

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That purchase also saw Muis issuing the inaugural musharakah, or joint-venture bonds, when it entered into an agreement with bond investors to purchase and lease the same premises.

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Yet, in some other aspects, especially those relating to the family, this progressive streak seems to be wanting.

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Among other things, under the Administration of Muslim Law Act (Amla) that governs family law for Muslims, a woman must get the consent of a male guardian (wali) — usually her father or brother — before she can marry.

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On inheritance, the Amla, which was introduced in 1966, says her male siblings are entitled to a larger portion. The rationale is simple: Men are considered the family breadwinner, and thus the natural head of the household. As such they have to shoulder a greater burden than their dependents, the women and children.

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But while that neat gender divide was valid 40 years ago, official statistics suggest the situation is no longer so clear-cut today.

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Consider this: In 2005, there were 24 per cent more female Muslim graduates than males.

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Last year, the number of female Muslim graduates marrying their educational equals decreased by 3 percentage points, compared to a decade earlier. But the number marrying men with a post-secondary education increased by about 8 percentage points between 2004 and last year.

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In other words, the social context for Muslim families in Singapore has changed vastly since the Amla was implemented. The long-held assumption that the man is the sole breadwinner who draws a higher salary than his wife may soon become a myth — if it is not already one.

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Given the developments, it is heartening to hear that the Amla is currently under review so as to ensure its relevance in the 21st century.

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This assurance came from no less than the Minister-in-Charge of Muslim Affairs Dr Yaacob Ibrahim in an interview with this newspaper earlier this month.

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About a week before the interview, a United Nations committee on women's rights had expressed "deep concerns" about certain aspects of Islamic law here.

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Is the inheritance law fair? Is the wali still needed? Should polygamy be allowed?

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In his response, Dr Yaacob maintained that Muslims here have taken a progressive approach when it comes to implementing Islamic laws.

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Two likely new laws bear this out: One, to raise the legal marriageable age for Muslims from 16 to 18, and the other, to have Muslims — like other Singaporeans — included automatically in the Human Organ Transplant Act unless they opt out, thus reversing a 20-year rule.

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But why stop at two?

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There are areas related to Muslim family laws that could do with updating.

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Take divorce, for one. Muslim divorces last year went up by 44 per cent, compared to those of a decade earlier. Of the 1,944 divorce cases last year, petitions by women account for more than half, while those filed by men account to only nearly a quarter.

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If men were truly the breadwinners and women their dependents, then one would expect the women to be more cautious when filing for divorce. Yet, they are the ones initiating the move.

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Women are not afraid to file for divorce precisely because they know that, without a husband, they can support themselves and their children. In fact, 63 per cent of the females who filed for divorce last year had jobs. The irony is that many of them cited "inadequate maintenance" on their husbands' part as the reason for their wanting out.

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Given that the Amla allows divorce on such grounds, is it not time to refine the divorce laws?

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Also, with more Muslim husbands earning less than their spouses, making it compulsory for men to provide maintenance for their ex-wives may be out of sync with the times.

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In fact, a woman earning a higher income than her spouse — and thus not needing monthly maintenance — can use this provision to legally "get rid of her husband".

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Of course, any proposal to do away with inadequate maintenance as grounds for divorce is going to be highly controversial.

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Lawyer Halijah Mohamed, who practises Islamic law, thinks it would be unfair to women, especially if the notion of a man as head of the Muslim household remains entrenched in the community.

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Still, this writer believes that some revision to the law is needed. Perhaps, legislation could be changed to limit compulsory maintenance to cases where the husband is either the sole breadwinner or who earns substantially more than his wife.

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Another area that could be relooked is inheritance. For the Amla to keep up with the times, it must be able to give a woman the right to inherit a share equal to her brother's if she has been contributing more to the family's upkeep than him.

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And it should also allow a Muslim woman to have the final say on who she wants to marry without needing the permission of a wali — notwithstanding the fact that, currently, a Muslim woman can appeal against her wali's decision to the Syariah court if she can prove that it was made on "unreasonable grounds".

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Also, more could be done to allow a Muslim woman to leave a polygamous marriage if she finds such an arrangement disagreeable.

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Ms Halijah suggests making provisions in the Amla to allow couples to make some form of agreement when they get married, such as allowing a woman to divorce her husband if he remarries.

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Refining the Amla to keep it in step with the changing lifestyles and needs of the Muslim community won't be easy.

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Can Muslim Singaporeans accept that the ever-changing social context will, in the not-so-distant future, embrace a family structure in which leadership is based not on gender but on capability?

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And, as the income gap between men and women closes, must we still uphold the view that men are the leaders of their families?

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There are no easy answers.

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Still, one thing is clear. Whether it is raising the minimum marriageable age or adding Muslims to the national organ transplant database, in refining Islamic laws to take into account new social realities, it is all about necessity.

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And this is, after all, within the Muslim tradition of keeping up with the times.

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This article writes about the recent changes in Islamic Law that has ensured that Muslims in Singapore keep in touch with the times. However, the writer feels that these changes are wanting in other areas--especially the part where it concerns the family. Even now, in our modern society, Muslim laws regarding the rights of women are woefully lacking. Muslim women still have to seek the permission of a wali, or a male guardian, to get married. Also, male superiority is still recognised, despite the fact that some women are earning more than their counterparts.

I feel that change is inevitable, and Islamic law should change to accomodate the moving times--this to avoid turning stale and being left behind in an advanced society. Those who do not attempt to change are usually those who cannot adapt; past groups paid homage to that--these were the Aboriginals and the Indian tribes and more indigenous peoples who did not embrace the rule of technology. However, I am not saying that there should be change everywhere, one should not just go with the flow, but must decide for oneself whether these changes are beneficial. Deeply rooted values and practices in Islam should not be forgotten or changed; things like daily prayer and the usage of the prayer mat etc. are marks or respect to divinity and show the unique aspects of the Muslim religion. Changes should be carefully evaluated, lest it leads to more terrorist groups. Terror groups form because of a misinterpretation of holy texts, and they cause a global problem if this idealism is unabated；they believe that they are doing good and carrying out God's will.

One change that should be initiated is that of the change in paradigm. The mindset that women are inferior to men still holds true in Muslim society, despite the fact that many women are actually earning more than men and holding higher positions than men. In the world today, everybody is given a chance, and your success depends on your merit and hard work. In this day, the phrase 'equality of the sexes' is the one often raised by women for women. I find that the Islamic law requiring women to seek consent for marriage ridiculous, in an age where women like Condoleeza Rice and Oprah Winfrey are making such a difference to the world. And this, with their hard work and no men.

Singapore is moving ahead and making a difference regarding these laws， but how about the rest of the world? Countries strictly Islamic, like Malaysia, still have laws regarding the revealing of skin when the USA has no qualms about airing explicit scenes on the TV. Afghanistan and the Middle Eastern countries still allow stoning for offences like adultery. All in all, Muslim laws should be changed to fit modern context. Men's comfortable status has led to 'laziness', whereas women's low status has given them drive to succeed. In the distant future, women might just be the next men.

(501 words)